


Rats

by OrchidPeach



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:15:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22871575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrchidPeach/pseuds/OrchidPeach
Summary: Tony saw a rat.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 9
Kudos: 128





	Rats

“Tony, sweetheart, get off the counter.”

How Bucky managed to be calm in such dire situations Tony would never know, but what he does know is that he’s not getting off the counter anytime soon.

“Absolutely not. Did you see the sheer _size_ of that thing! It could eat a small child!” Tony held onto the cabinets as he looked around the kitchen floor with wide eyes. How something of such size could disappear he didn’t know but he was not moving until it was caught.

Bucky sighed up at the man and shook his head. “It’s more scared of you than you are of it.”

“ _Lies_ ” Tony hissed. “It looked right at me with those black, blood-thirsty, soulless eyes. No fear whatsoever.”

“If it wasn’t scared then why’d it run to god knows where?”

“Survival instinct.” Whispering now. “It can’t eat the both of us.”

The poor man can’t hold it back anymore and laughs. “How have you lived in New York and been this afraid of rats?” 

“I don’t know, investing in a clean home that doesn’t invite rodent life.”

“Anyone can get a rat Tony. Especially in the big cities.”

“Can and have are two separate things.” He pointed. “ _I’ve_ never had rats! Not until _you_ and the rest of you moved in!”

Hands now crossed over his chest, Bucky lifted a brow. “So _we_ brought the rats? Is that what you’re trying to say?”

“Oh, I’m not _trying_ I just _am_! Before you all, no rats! After you all, we have rats! Do the math Mr. SuperAssassinSpy, some of you act like you’ve never seen a dishwasher in your life, and where’s that great precision when it comes to making sure all of your trash ends up in the bin? Hmm?” He glares and points at Bucky. “You did this, you brought disgusting large rodents into my home and you will get rid of them, or I will get rid of you.”

Bucky glared back, silent for several moments, before a small easy smile graced his lips. “Fair assessment, and reasonable solution. But did you consider that, if we left, you’d be stuck with the rats?”

“They’d follow your trash littered trail.”

“Would they? Let’s test that theory.” Bucky turned around and began to walk out of the kitchen. “Oh, and don’t forget rats can climb, you’re not actually safe on the counter!”

“What! No wait! Come back!”

Bucky ignored him and laughed his way out of the room and the house. In his defense he was going to get some sticky rat traps from the store. He was just evil enough not to tell Tony right away.

An hour later his phone buzzed with a text from Steve.

Stevie: **Why did I just come home to find Tony sitting in a ring of lit candles on the kitchen counter like a human sacrifice???**


End file.
